The Gift

woke up, just laid in bed
went back to sleep a few times
nothing to do, but still not dead
so maybe i'll just dream of rhymes

and sometimes it is relaxing
and sometimes it is worrisome
and sometimes it is so taxing
to sleep too long, to become numb . . .


woke up, got out of bed
played some Ruzzle to wake my head
though about what to do next
played some Words with Friends instead

and sometimes it is relaxing
and sometimes it is a let down
and sometimes it is so taxing
to play too long, nothing gets done
a smile can become a frown . . .


woke up, got out of bed
just checked my text messages
saw what my best friend had said
remembered time passages

she asked me why I do not sleep at night
I started to get a little uptight
then I answered her with a rhyme
and suddenly as if I saw the light
and everything just seemed to be alright
yes everything was alright

I told her

Every day is good for me because I am alive
Even when I am depressed it's good
Cuz I am feeling and not numb, I know I'll survive
I'd explain it better if I could

I love the roller coaster of emotions
That is what this life is all about
From the calm to the scary commotions
Even when it seems I'm full of doubt

Even when I cry alone late at night
Even when I beg someone to save me
Deep inside I know everything's alright
Cuz I still have the gift this life gave me

The chance to breathe another breath
The chance to find out what comes next
A moment can change everything
That's all I need to know

To get up and take one more step
And realize I'm not done yet
Right now I can do anything
I am the star of my show
I decide where I should go
The wind is me and I can blow
And all I need to know

is...

The chance to breathe another breath
The chance to find out what comes next
A moment can change everything
That's all I need to know

This is all I need to know
To make it all good
I would explain it better
If I could . . .


So I woke up, got out of bed
and shook the cobwebs from me head
remembering I'm not yet dead
remembering the words I said

Yes I got up, took one more step
And realized I'm not done yet
Right now I can do anything
I am the star of my show
I decide where I should go
I am the wind and I can blow!
And all I need to know

I've got

The chance to breathe another breath
The chance to find out what comes next
A moment can change everything
That's all I need to know
I've got...

The chance to breathe another breath
The chance to find out what comes next
A moment can change everything
That's all I need to know...
to enjoy the show.

party moods

so the party moods
come right out of the blue
and it's nothing new
but it surprises me every time

I just need to remember

september, october
november, december
just need to remember
remember, remember
remember remember

how to find the party
that is always going on
somewhere in my head
something I said
I am not dead yet
no, still not dead

the highs are always just a breath away
the lows are just a death away
no matter what we do or say
the show will go on
and the music will play
and this truth will stay
no matter how low it gets today
the highs are just a breath away

and it's a wonderful feeling
to know there's no ceiling
and all the emotion
is an infinite ocean
of laughter and tears
across all the years
embrace all the fears
and overcome them now
this is how

mixed in with all the dreams of love
and the fairy tales and whatever's above
there is something real
right here to feel
if you just remember
just remember
the words were said
inside your head
you're still not dead
no, still not dead

the highs are always just a breath away
the lows are just a death away
no matter what we do or say
the show will go on
and the music will play
and this truth will stay
no matter how low it gets today
the highs are just a breath away

and it's a wonderful feeling
to know there's no ceiling
and all the emotion
is an infinite ocean
of laughter and tears
across all the years
embrace all the fears
and overcome them now
this is how

just remember this
a kiss is just a kiss
awareness suddenly appears
as emotion without fears
and you see rainbows through your tears

and the highs are always just a breath away
the lows are just a death away
no matter what we do or say
the show will go on
and the music will play
and this truth will stay
no matter how low it gets today
the highs are just a breath away

right out of the blue
nothing new

the way out of the blue

remember when the beatles sang love love love all you need is love, love, love, have you known true love, love, love do you dream of love, love love... still?...

well i do...

and i could write a song for every dream of love i've known
reality has not lasted as long
now finding someone who i want to trust leaves me alone
and a lonely love song just seems wrong

for love is about sharing
trusting and caring
it's not about fearing
fear will leave you blue

love is about healing
believing and feeling
it is about revealing
the true you in you

so if you ever find yourself giving up on reaching out
ask yourself if you really want to die
if you tell yourself you can live without what life's about
then you're not living life, you're living a lie

for love is about sharing
trusting and caring
it's not about fearing
fear will leave you blue

love is about healing
believing and feeling
it is about revealing
the true you in you

don't give up
don't fade away
don't give up
start again today
you can come out of your darkness
your closet or your hole
you can open your heart
and save your soul

for life is about sharing
trusting and caring
it's not about fearing
fear will leave you blue

life is about healing
believing and feeling
it is about revealing
the true you in you

and you can write a song for every dream of love you've known
even reality has not lasted as long
now if when you think of love you think you'd rather be alone
think a lonely love song just seems wrong

so if you think it's over
if all your hope seems gone
you still have a choice to make
give up or carry on

and if you want to give up
there's just one thing to do
repeat it over and over again
until you know it's true

love is about sharing
trusting and caring
it's not about fearing
fear will leave you blue

love is about healing
believing and feeling
it is about revealing
the true you in you

love is about sharing
trusting and caring
it's not about fearing
fear will leave you blue

love is about healing
believing and feeling
it is about revealing
the true you in you

peace comes from knowing this is true
hope is the way out of the blue
it's no secret, the heart always knew
and i hope you do too
i hope you will do what's good for you

for love is about sharing
trusting and caring
it's not about fearing
fear will leave you blue

and love is about healing
believing and feeling
it is about revealing
the true you in you

Rilke and you

it was midnight in another dream and a new letter was inspired...

Rilke and you, of course... once again you reach deeper into me than I wanted anyone to unless they were sitting beside me with arms wide open to hold me as I fall apart, trusting me to come back together as I always do... surviving the infinite abyss of endless desire... alone... the secret is...

it is not true love unless it scares you

(and then a song breaks out)



my lips have almost forgotten what desire means
for so long I've been missing my love
torn from my heart, breaking all my dreams
wounds like this are meant to always bleed
silently the moon cries every night
buried in subway halls
burned in airports
why do you think they call them terminals

and she loved it when I sang, I sang
if it takes forever, I will wait for you
and did I know that she was hearing
I will always love you

and when promising to love
until the end of time
do we really believe time can not end?

meanwhile, deep inside my this heart I know as my own...

I still mourn the loss of my first true love
a void so feared, an abyss so immense
thirty years have not diminished it's power to consume my passion
would a million?
three decades have not reduced it's intensity
time does not effect the inspiration I so fear
and still am so drawn to it
I live for it
and I would die to feel it
just one more time
again

today I live to embrace one who understands the need
one who will drink the blood of wounds meant to always bleed
one who will drink the tears of eyes meant always to cry
one who will find the child inside who knows the natural high
always laughing at the clouds
always waking up reborn
smiling from within the storm
feeling the peaceful eye
seeing through the pointless fears
seeing the rainbow through the tears

for you who understands
I reach out to warm your hands

no van gogh

i see the the blurry world of van gogh
oh
but that is not the way i want to go
even though i understand the suffering or knowing
and the fear of innocence and honesty
the fatigue of sixty years on
comes on strong
almost suddenly
as if it was a wall
always there waiting
to be run into

suddenly despair
swallows hope and energy
as apathy consumes
me

the sad comes out of the blue
waiting for someone to see through
waiting for someone to care
but no one seems to want to
so only the sad comes through

and yet i know the flip side
euphoria too
can suddenly come
out of the blue

waiting here for you

the point

maybe there is no other way to say to you today that i don't want to play delusion and dismay so take your rulebooks and your clay and make some other disarray in your own image you can pray someone like me might go away when someone like you comes to stay... but even if the whole thing was a lie... we can still dream of seeing eye to eye...

standards too high for this world at this time
life is the point foolishly declined
maybe find solace amusement in rhyme
meter allows thought to be left behind
all but the one line clearing the mind
in this moment this world is resigned
to be so inclined to leave us behind
fears at this time so acceptibly blind
miss the point and get left behind

selling delusion and calling it kind
the tables can turn never to find
we are the world we bade declined
and in the end we missed the point
and were all left behind

so caught up in how we might be designed
we missed the point and got left behind

waiting for something we may never find
we missed the point and got left behind

born with two eyes we closed to be blind
we missed the point and got left behind

fearing the truth we pretend lies are kind
we missed the point and got left behind

i just do (how am i to know, part two - that's some powerful stuff)

desires come
out of the blue
from misty morning memories
to here and now with you

desires come
as if they are new
time and time again they come
in and out of the blue

and sometimes they call to me so loudly
i can't hear anything else
sometimes even so boldly that
i forget about myself

you were the one who should me how
powerful desire could be
so is it any wonder now
this is my fantasy

to be with you
one more time
for all eternity

can a love this strong
be wrong?
(you tell me)
(what can be?)

can a love this strong
be wrong?
not for me