no van gogh

i see the the blurry world of van gogh
oh
but that is not the way i want to go
even though i understand the suffering or knowing
and the fear of innocence and honesty
the fatigue of sixty years on
comes on strong
almost suddenly
as if it was a wall
always there waiting
to be run into

suddenly despair
swallows hope and energy
as apathy consumes
me

the sad comes out of the blue
waiting for someone to see through
waiting for someone to care
but no one seems to want to
so only the sad comes through

and yet i know the flip side
euphoria too
can suddenly come
out of the blue

waiting here for you